Day 86 – 90 Days in Proverbs - Home builder

Proverbs 14:1 [CSB] Every wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands.

Women are not solely responsible for building up or tearing down a household. But we do bear some of the responsibility, just as our husbands do.

It’s no secret that home that is attacked from the inside is much more at risk than one being attacked from without. So, what’s a woman to do to ensure she is building up her home?

First, we must be sure we are actually focusing on building up the people of our families. It isn’t enough to just refrain from tearing down. We should use words to encourage and support the members of our household. We should show patience with them. We should sew peace.

Each person should know we care about them and that we expect the same high standards of behavior – things like patience and peacemaking – from each member of the household as well. We must model patience and peacemaking or our efforts to hold others to these standards will be in effective.

Proverbs 31 outlines the character qualities of a woman who builds up her home. She is hard-working and trustworthy. She uses her resources wisely – whether money or time or employees. She wakes up early to provide for the needs of others and she models the behavior of helping the less fortunate.

However, here is the point from Proverbs 31 that I want to emphasize: Proverbs 31:26 [CSB] Her mouth speaks wisdom, and loving instruction is on her tongue.

So often it is our words that wound – that tear down instead of building up. I’d never hit my husband, but it takes particular care to ensure that my words never harm him. I’d never knock my children to the floor, but my words could crush them, if I react without thinking in a moment of frustration. It takes thoughtfulness to deliberately build up each member of my household with my words and that should be our goal.

I would never take an ax to the foundations of my home, but there is power in my words to destroy a home from within, at the foundation level. There is also power in my words to build up my home and create a strong, loving and cohesive unit.

James 3 has plenty to say about the power of the tongue and its ability to cause destruction. It’s a worthy read if you are looking to control this little but potentially destructive member of the body.  

Proverbs 18:21 [CSB] tells us Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Sisters, you, like me, may need help guarding your tongue. In our younger years, my family was known for it biting and allegedly witty and funny remarks. Now we know that cutting remarks are never a good choice, no matter how funny we think they are. With age and time in the church, comes a better understanding of the power and purpose of the toungue. And, thankfully, the Holy Spirit is there to provide us with help to control our tongues – both to avoid its wrong us and to employ it for good.

It is also important to thoughtfully and deliberately spend time building up the members of my home – not just refraining from tearing them down. Proverbs 25:11 [NKJV] says A word fitly spoken [is like] apples of gold in settings of silver. This give us an idea of just how valuable and important it is to speak good words.

So, let’s thoughtfully and deliberately use our words to build up our homes. Find opportunities to praise and thank your husband and children, or whomever might live in your home with you.

The right words build up. We are to be home builders.

Prayer – Father God, I know that life and death are in the power and control of my words. Let me always speak love and hope and encouragement. Let my words be peacemakers in my own home. Help me to always build up my family. In Jesus name I pray. Amen

Your thoughts —  

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